Progressing

Well today I weighed myself. I have lost 2 lbs :) if I continue this pace the week of my birthday I will be at the first goal weight of 143lbs. I now weigh 157 and feel good to know that I have made some progress and I should be happy about that. It's better to celebrate the little victories than just push on and not be happy I'm not where I want to be. WOO!!!! lol well i hope everyone is as happy as I am.

first day :)

Today was my first day at a new job. I was super nervous. I feel alright about it though. It was pretty interesting. It's a nice laid back place with some business. It's never all that busy. It comes in spurts pretty much. Which is kinda nice. I mean I can atleast read or crochet on the job if its slow. Also I'll get to close a lot as well as work open to close on sundays once I'm trained atleast thats how the schedule looks now. I think I either want to do preschool teaching or maybe teaching with disabled kids. I don't know yet. But I think it'd be rewarding work and I'd enjoy it. But for now I am gonna hang on at this storage place. Maybe work there for a year or so and get my early childhood college in. Finish with it and begin looking for work in that field. or begin looking for work in it before I'm out. :) Life is good and I am happy. I thank God for all he has blessed me with and the opportunities presented to me.

My world does it matter?

Today i had work that i did not make it to because my clutch cable broke like broke broke while i was driving there. so I put on my old one made it to my house so i could call autozone to get the warranty on it and replace it. well no warranty cause apparently even though there is supposed to be a year warranty on all automotive parts they don't adhere to it. And I could've gotten a new clutch cable if the one by me hadn't ripped me off of my points. 141 before taxes means 7 points and I already had 3 which is 10 which is $40. But I wound up going to kragen after checking everything my gpa asked me to check and determining there was no getting around getting a new cable. Fortunately they actually offer a year warranty like they're supposed to. My incredible boyfriend sat around for hours with me while i went through trial and error and tried to get around it. Then he even put it in in the dark. I love him so much :')

Two down Who knows how many to go.

Well I definitely started the food journal last night and it was alright. I also got a job yesterday! it is long term part time with possibility for overtime and i guess full time at times too. I also got paid woohoo lol it wasn't much and was all gone by the time i took care of the electric bill, a leash for one of the dogs and gas. I've got a little saved up for gas if it's needed. I start the new job on monday and will hopefully hold on to liberty at least one day a week then i can get my bonus and theres a little extra money in may. I now live with my boyfriend and his mom and well that's it here. I have my guretsuki and angel and will soon have little scooter butt. I mean the ultimate goal is to get our own place and what not but where we are now is alright. I feel like life is looking up and getting better this year.

Food Journaling

I have decided to become healthier because honestly it's important. It means I live longer and enjoy life better. So I have started a new blog called Parentage of a New Life to help keep up with this. I am writing a food journal on there and will probably keep an activity journal as well. I feel like I've needed to grow up and become responsible in all other aspects of my life why not my health?

Yesterday

Yesterday was pretty bad lol well parts of it were. i think my stress tolerance yesterday was close to none. I don't care for sarcastic people when i am annoyed already. I feel like my fingers flatter from this sign slamming shut on it :( Then looking at a house didnt go so well. I really wanted to like it. But I just couldn't it was kinda blah and crappy. Too much fixing for me and my gma and really even my gpa cause he's getting a little old plus i'm sure crawling under the house is not something he wants to do when he is home for a few days at a time. I did get to see my baby though. It made my day all the more better. Being away from him hasn't made me the happiest but I try to deal with it. I passed out not long after getting back from visiting my baby. I woke up a little bit ago and decided to blog and watch some stuff on netflix :) currently watching american dad. Im thinking about watching my name is earl but I'm not sure I wana. I liked watching it with my honey lol. Its like good time together lol.

my own place

I feel like I may be getting closer to getting my own place :) I got a response back on one of the jobs I applied to. I'm gonna fill out the application and take it by tomorrow since they're holding interviews Thursday. So hopefully that'll turn into something although I would have to give up the sign waving possibly which isn't much but it is something. It would be nice to find something permanent and full time to get a place. Even though it may be hard I'd like the experience of living in the real world away from caretakers. It would be nice to just be me and my baby...and my bajillion dogs. lol I really only have 3 and we share 1 cause he wont claim the others lol. Sometimes though you realize when listening to people how hard it would be to be out on your own. Or how people don't realize the reality of being out there. Oh i just realized how cool android phones are. My boyfriend got one and if it had a slide out keyboard i would probably try to take it lol. Anyways I am watching country music videos on youtube but about to switch to watching this Kevin Hart comedy special with my boyfriend and his brother and sister in law.

1 week

So it has been a week since surgery. I feel a bunch better lol. The only thing really bugging me still is the belly button incision. Its kinda itchy :p and hurts a little bit too. The first week was not really fun :( . The first day I was very out of it. The second was painful :( and the third I was a super emotional wreck. I couldn't stop crying at all.  The rest of the time was between crazy emotional and painful. Walking around has helped a lot. I'm already back at work and worked on Saturday even. I worked today. I've got Wednesday through Saturday scheduled too. It's nice to be kinda busy now lol. Sitting around the house does not sit well with me. So I had another dream that my dad was still alive... it's weird I can't stop dreaming about him not really being dead. Maybe it's because it still hurts and I miss him so much. It was weird. I have watched all of the paranormal activity movies now and some movie called paranormal entity. It kinda sucks that they were fake but at the same time I'm glad they are. I got so creeped out :( well I am hoping to find permanentish full time employment now that the surgery is over :) My goal for the year : Get my own place with Brandon by the December :) oh and of course find a full time job lol but yea I want a place I think it'd be nice to have a place of our own.

Post-op

So yesterday was not as fun as the day of the surgery. I was very much out of it on Monday. Yesterday I was in a ton of pain. Today I am not as sore :) which is wonderful. I am now looking forward to working on my professional portfolio for graphic design. Hopefully I will find a job with it :), or maybe I can find a job and continue to work on it. I want my own place very badly. Lol not that I mind the places I live, I just like privacy and a feeling of not crowding people or people crowding me. I don't want to feel like my dogs are too much for anyone to handle or they bug people. If it's my neighbors oh well they can suck it honestly because we do not live together and I don't have to talk with them like people I live with lol. Plus I would love a graphic design job on the basis then no one can say my degree was worth nothing and a waste of time.
On another note though.. :( I have been kinda sad. I can't handle stuff. Ever since the day before surgery I have been crying alot. Sometimes I know why and other times I couldn't understand what's going on. I think I am just overwhelmed with life. I think also hearing stories about the way others lives have turned out and things they've done have gotten to me. Why I am so sensitive I will never know. Hopefully writing will help a bit of it. So woo for the blog.

Surgery

So I had my surgery today. It sucks. I hate oxygen masks. I hate being alone and I hate they didn't tell me I could have had a visitor before surgery. It made me really sad. I was crying all yesterday and this morning. I was afraid I would die with all that I have left to live for because I am tired. I am tired of having to miss my dad :( . I am glad my boyfriend was there as much as he could be though and that he is helping me through this. It is kinda painful. I feel retarded sometimes cause of being out of it. I don't feel like writing alot. anyways if anyone reads this then yea thank you.

Monday

Monday I will have surgery. They will remove my gallbladder and I will hopefully no longer have to worry about pancreatitis or what I eat causing me pain or severe vomiting or diarrhea. It was a terrible time and I hope it is over. I hope my recovery only takes a week. I've never been good on being down for long. I can't even make it through the hour recovery in the hospital...or atleast I didn't when I was just having a test done. I will this time. It doesn't mean I'll like it. But I did promise this time I would not get pissy and mad and impatient. I was kinda rude. But I do not like being lied to about a doctor coming or about being able to see people. I don't like to be alone in hospitals. I go stir crazy and need something to do to make me forget whats going on and where I am. I miss my dad everyday. It gets better but it gets worse too. Little things remind me of him. Everclear's "Sunflowers" does. My mom does notice the similarities between me and my father and she doesn't like them. Atleast she doesn't seem to. And I know it's a big part of why we fight and don't get along. I'm glad my boyfriend will be there for my surgery. I won't be able to see him til it's all over and done but knowing he's out there waiting will help. I will start working out soon. When I'm healed sounds good. lol.
Oh Yea... I always said I was Adorable and my dad called me Adorkable. SO yea that's where my name came from :)