Surgery

So I had my surgery today. It sucks. I hate oxygen masks. I hate being alone and I hate they didn't tell me I could have had a visitor before surgery. It made me really sad. I was crying all yesterday and this morning. I was afraid I would die with all that I have left to live for because I am tired. I am tired of having to miss my dad :( . I am glad my boyfriend was there as much as he could be though and that he is helping me through this. It is kinda painful. I feel retarded sometimes cause of being out of it. I don't feel like writing alot. anyways if anyone reads this then yea thank you.

Monday

Monday I will have surgery. They will remove my gallbladder and I will hopefully no longer have to worry about pancreatitis or what I eat causing me pain or severe vomiting or diarrhea. It was a terrible time and I hope it is over. I hope my recovery only takes a week. I've never been good on being down for long. I can't even make it through the hour recovery in the hospital...or atleast I didn't when I was just having a test done. I will this time. It doesn't mean I'll like it. But I did promise this time I would not get pissy and mad and impatient. I was kinda rude. But I do not like being lied to about a doctor coming or about being able to see people. I don't like to be alone in hospitals. I go stir crazy and need something to do to make me forget whats going on and where I am. I miss my dad everyday. It gets better but it gets worse too. Little things remind me of him. Everclear's "Sunflowers" does. My mom does notice the similarities between me and my father and she doesn't like them. Atleast she doesn't seem to. And I know it's a big part of why we fight and don't get along. I'm glad my boyfriend will be there for my surgery. I won't be able to see him til it's all over and done but knowing he's out there waiting will help. I will start working out soon. When I'm healed sounds good. lol.
Oh Yea... I always said I was Adorable and my dad called me Adorkable. SO yea that's where my name came from :)